Waves of strong emotion can feel very uncomfortable.
Most of us are taught to suppress them, hide them, deny them – in case someone thinks we’re weak.
Many of the clients I see and support to finally start feeling their feelings, have been denying, suppressing, ignoring all that discomfort…. Not because they’re “bad” people, but simply because of programming.
Things happen for all of us, like Mom or Dad who says “Just stop crying!” when they (the parent) is having a hard day.
What gets programmed into the child’s subconscious is something like “It’s bad to have feelings” or “People don’t like me when I show emotion” or “I need to hide what I feel”. It’s different for each of us, what we make those events mean. Bottom line is – we start hiding or suppressing our emotions.
When someone finally starts to feeling their emotions, it can feel overwhelming, unnatural and “wrong”.
The good news is:
Big waves of emotions are just like weather fronts.
Cold or hot weather fronts usually last a few days at most – then they pass along, just doing what weather fronts do.
Big waves of emotion also don’t last forever. If we let them be, and allow them to pass through us, they last seconds, minutes or maybe hours.
When we resist them, or try to push them back down, they might go back in hiding AND…. it feels like we have to FIGHT them, so there’s resistance on TOP of the waves of emotion. And it’s all very hard work.
When they stay squashed down and are not processed, eventually, they cause dis-ease in the body.
So my gentle invitation is:
Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
Yes of course it’s painful! We don’t want to feel the difficult ones – and that’s partly why we try to suppress them. On top of the programming that taught us it’s not desirable to let others see our sadness.
Here’s a truth about emotions.
Fight them, and they will fight back.
Allow them to come up, feel them and allow them to pass through – that’s the true way to heal them. We cannot heal what we’re not allowing ourselves to feel.
Yes, we might need help to process them through safely, and not overwhelm ourselves with masses of suppressed emotions… especially if there was trauma involved.
If you need help with getting in touch with your suppressed emotions, or are afraid to feel them, please do contact a professional. Safety above all else.
Brief and important summary:
We cannot heal what we’re not willing to feel. Feelings don’t last forever when we allow them.
I wish you a life of freedom to FEEL your beautiful emotions. Not a single one of them is wrong or bad. They’re all here with a message. When we stop to listen, with kindness and empathy, they can deliver the message – and they will pass through like any cloud, letting the sun through again.
That liberation and freedom is what I wish for you.
Liesel helps sensitive introverts to see their sensitivity as a superpower, love their work and practice awesome self-care so they can be energized and make a difference in a meaningful and fulfilling way. She helps them to overcome the fear of being visible, avoiding the spotlight and conflict, being ‘too nice’, perfectionism and procrastination.
She’s the author of “No Problem. The Upside of Saying No”, which is a handbook for those who struggle to say no, are overwhelmed and exhausted.
Click here to read about the book.