Blog overview
Relief for Emotional Overload
If you're a sensitive soul with a nervous system that feels deeply and a heart that wants to help everyone, you might be familiar with this: "There're so many (humans and animals) who are suffering.... I'm only one person...I can't help them all and I'm feeling...
Do you have a “Word” for 2020?
I heard about this concept around 2015, when I was working with a dear mentor in the US, Paul Zelizer. Up to then I was very familiar with choosing goals for the upcoming year — yet just “one word” was new to me. I didn’t get into it for another year or so and the...
All Relationships can be our Teachers and Healers
It’s comical to notice how often we want other people to change. Sometimes we think we know what’s good for the other and we’ll say things like “I want them to do this or that because it will be good for them.” Of course, we do it from a well-meaning place. Sadly, our...
Visibility Will Lead to Loneliness
If you’re a sensitive introvert with a small business, you might know the conundrum… “I want a successful business. BUT. It means I’ll probably need to be more visible (and my coach is telling me that). AND. I don’t want to!“ Does that sound familiar? I am intimately...
Blinks: A Way that I get to Read more Books
I and many of the clients I work with, have the CliftonStrengths of “Learner” and/or “Input”. That means: we love learning, are eternally curious and love gathering information (and books)…. And we want to read allllllll the books about the topics that interest us....
Are relationships really worth the effort?
If there's one thing I'm becoming more and more certain of it's this: Relationships and friendships are important. So, so vital for a full life. In my humble opinion, of course. Here's why. In the past few weeks, dear friends, family and my awesome husband have...
The Bigger Picture
Sometimes life just doesn’t make sense. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want it to. Sometimes things go unbelievably “wrong”. I hasten to add - this might all feel true when we look at it with our limited human perspective. I sincerely believe that there is...
The Best Way to Love Someone
I found this quote again in my quote file. I'm a collector (of quotes, information, courses, books, articles....) - can you identify? I usually find the most useful bits jump out at exactly the right time. "I find the best way to love someone is not to change them,...
Book: Empower your Life with Gentleness
Today I want to welcome a friend and colleague, Bingz Huang, to my blog. She recently published a beautiful book that might be especially valuable for sensitive souls. I had a few questions for her after I read this gentle gem. Welcome Bingz! You're an Empath. Many of...
Visibility – What’s your Reaction to this word?
If you're an introvert, that word might want to make you turn around right now and run for the closest hills. I get it. For years, I was a "closet business owner". Yes, I had a business. Because I never talked about, so few people knew. (Ahem, I have to wonder...."Is...
Buried feelings never die
It is fascinating to me how many people think we can "forget" the past and move on by just saying the words - "I'm moving on now." I am in contact daily with people who have tried that.... and years or months later, their "forgotten" past comes back to bite them. How...
The Relief of Naming a Problem in a Safe Space
In the past few weeks I’ve worked with several private clients who all expressed this. Their words were something like: “What a relief to ADMIT this!” “It’s so good to just NAME it!” “I’m finally acknowledging and accepting that this is how this situation is…. “...
The difference between being highly sensitive, and being highly reactive to triggers
If you’re reading this article, I’m guessing that you are someone who identifies with having a sensitive nervous system. Maybe you’re an HSP or Empath. And perhaps you feel that it’s very hard to be in the world with all it’s challenges, when one is this sensitive. I...
Self-Care and our Genes
Every time we think a thought, it usually leads to one or more emotions. Sometimes we’re aware of those emotions, other times not. Some of us are well practiced in suppressing emotions. We learn to do this at an early age, because Mom or Dad told us to stop crying,...
Survival Mechanisms
Dr Gabor Mate is a medical practitioner who does excellent, enlightening work in the field of disease and addictions. His main point is that every addiction and serious disease starts as a result of trauma and feeling isolated. His insightful quote is what I find in...
Self-Care isn’t just a holiday or a massage
“I can’t afford self-care. I have no time for myself and I’m on a budget.“ I hear the misconception all around me. That self-care necessarily entails “expensive” or “lots of time” - like a holiday in the Bahamas. It can be those things, yes. And, that’s nowhere near...
Lessons from Pushing Past my Energy Reserves
Have you pushed yourself to run on an empty tank? What was the impact? I did that recently and learnt some valuable lessons. I don’t have it all figured out fully. I’m still learning how to best care for myself as an introvert (who is also an HSP and Empath). I trust...
Permission for Self-Care
Do you struggle with the idea of doing something for yourself? Maybe even more than that: do you struggle to give yourself permission to rest? Really truly rest – doing nothing? Messages about Rest Most of us heard messages in childhood about ourselves and about rest,...
Common Fears about Starting a Business
I love how I keep being delighted and surprised in my work. Take for instance the example of my client Daffodil. (That’s an arbitrary name I gave her for this story – and why not a beautiful flower that shows its lovely self in Spring, the season of renewal? I have...
Pressure to Change Quickly…. vs Consistent Small Steps
As a coach for introverts and sensitive people, I'm guessing that if you are one, the "super-hero super-fast" picture above might not appeal to you. Introverts are more inclined to go for slow, steady, careful action. Having to show up as superheroes often fill them...
Strong Emotions
Waves of strong emotion can feel very uncomfortable. Most of us are taught to suppress them, hide them, deny them - in case someone thinks we're weak. Many of the clients I see and support to finally start feeling their feelings, have been denying, suppressing,...
The Relationship between Action and Results
"You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.” – Mahatma Gandhi (1869 – 1948), Indian philosopher ✨✨✨ This is something I need to remind my own self of, so often. And I find my clients benefit from this reminder...
Do you know the SIGNs of your Strengths?
We’re taught in so many places that there’s something wrong with us. We get this message from a very early age through parents and other adults. Later on, we learn that we need to improve, develop, grow, stretch …. And while that’s true, we don’t hear the message that...
Celebrate your wins!
Me: “How did it go with your xyz goal this past week?” Client: “Oh I’m so excited – I DID it! It’s complete and I’m so relieved!!” Me: “EXCELLENT! Now – how are you going to celebrate?” Client: “Huh? I was supposed to do it - why should I celebrate?!” How often do...
Someone might get angry!
Fear of conflict goes deep for many of us, especially for sensitive introverts. Imagine a situation where you did experience conflict. It might have been with a boss, a critical colleague or teacher, a parent, a friend, an intimate partner. Notice that with all of...
Performance Anxiety
Last week I went to an organ recital in Christ Church, Spitalfields. It was the largest organ in the UK for about 100 years. The hour-long performance was a very special experience for me - I was a musician for many years before I made a radical change to computer...
Introvert Tips to Thrive during Busy Times
Recently I made the longest and furthest trip ever without my husband, and the first back to South Africa since we moved to London, from South Africa. It was an incredibly packed 2 weeks with business to finish off (banks, mobile contracts, dentists, hairdresser),...
Where is home?
Moving countries is really quite a strange thing... I've just returned from 2 weeks in SA (my old country) and am now back in London (my new country). Many friends in South Africa asked me "Which feels like home now?" It's a hard one to answer. Mostly I replied "I...
Visibility for Introverts: A Conversation with George Kao, Authentic Business Coach
Since 2009, George Kao has been helping Coaches, Consultants, Counselors and Healers to grow their audience through authentic online marketing. He teaches people how to grow their audience using social media, webinars, online courses, written posts, video's and books....
Journey to Forgiving an Alcoholic Father
Lovingly shared by Michele Mullins, 52. I would like to share my personal story of what I experienced at the Level 3 EFT workshop I attended in September 2010. Michele's Background My story should begin with a brief setting the stage of where I come from. I grew up...