“I don’t know what to say when I tap!”
I’ve been an EFT practitioner for 14 years, and hear this from people all the time. Then they search for the perfect EFT tapping script online that will help them to tap for their issue. It may not work, for good reasons. I’d love to clear up a few possible misunderstandings around using the ‘right words’ for EFT tapping.
Let me begin here.
I can completely understand that people would not know what to say when they tap… because they often don’t learn EFT in a workshop designed to teach them. They learn by watching others do it, or participating in events like the annual EFT World Summit. People assume that the magic is in the ‘right words’ – which would lead them to look for ‘the right script’ that seem to correspond to their problem.
Here’s the most important key to remember:
It’s the tapping that does the work, not the words.
You can use someone else’s script and make no headway at all, because of this. Someone else’s script is right for them, not necessarily for you.
A useful metaphor
Think of a hosepipe with a nozzle at the end. To water the garden, we need to switch the water on, and direct it at the plants through the nozzle.
The nozzle is there to direct the stream of water in the right direction, and to fine tune the stream of water. Do I want a ‘wide angle soft spray’, or a very thin directed spray that goes only to one plant?
While both play a role, it’s the water that actually nourishes the plants, not the nozzle.
It’s the same with EFT tapping.
The nozzle is like the words we say
It has multiple functions.
It helps us to aim at the right thing. It helps us to stay tuned in to our emotions. We can voice and honestly express our feelings (something we may not have been able to do during a stressful event). This is in itself a very healing thing.
The tapping is like the water we spray
The tapping on the specific points does the actual clearing out of the difficult or hurtful emotions. Without tapping, we’d just be doing talk therapy. And while I respect other therapies, I do know people who have been in talk therapy for years and still haven’t shifted their feelings about something. They understand why they feel that way, but they still feel the same anger or sadness.
The tapping does the work. The words help you to stay tuned in.
What can you do when you don’t know what words to use as you tap?
Tell yourself the truth while you do rounds of tapping. Simple as that.
For instance, say someone treated you in a way that you feel angry and hurt about. Tune into how you feel, what your thoughts are. Feel (as best you can) where in the body you experience any sensations in your body. Rate on a scale of 0-10 how intense these emotions or sensations are.
Start tapping through all the EFT points. Tell yourself what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, where you feel it in the body.
For instance, while tapping each next point for every sentence below:
“I’m so mad with him. He treated me so badly. I feel annoyed beyond words. I can’t even express how angry I am. I feel like I could cry when I think back to yesterday. I want to strangle him. This anger in my chest. So angry. So angry. I was so embarrassed when he talked to me like that in front of the others. Embarrassment…. Embarrassment…. Embarrassment. I was mortified. I’m still feeling annoyed. How could he? How dare he?”
And so on.
Continue doing rounds and rounds until you start feeling calmer. That’s just one of the techniques in EFT called “Talk and Tap”. There are many others.
Simply tell the truth while you tap through the points, round after round, until you start feeling a change. You’ll notice sighs, yawns or even boredom. And, your thoughts around it will shift to things like “It’s not that big a deal” or “I don’t know why I was so upset.” A clear sign that the tapping is doing its work.
I still want to know how to learn how to tap properly!
More detailed help for finding your own perfect words to tap with
If you want more specific help on how to refine your use of EFT process, so you can get the most of this life-changing tool, you might enjoy my “EFT Quick Start Guide”.
It’s a low-cost, fast way to learn. It explains all the basics of EFT in an easy way. You’ll be able to start tapping for your own issues in a short time.
Liesel helps sensitive introverts to see their sensitivity as a superpower, love their work and practice awesome self-care so they can be energized and make a difference in a meaningful and fulfilling way. She helps them to overcome the fear of being visible, avoiding the spotlight and conflict, being ‘too nice’, perfectionism and procrastination.
She’s the author of “No Problem. The Upside of Saying No”, which is a handbook for those who struggle to say no, are overwhelmed and exhausted.
Click here to read about the book.