I found this quote again in my quote file. I’m a collector (of quotes, information, courses, books, articles….) – can you identify?
I usually find the most useful bits jump out at exactly the right time.
“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”
It’s such a human tendency to want to change someone else, so that we can feel better. I cringe when I think of the many times an ex husband had to suffer my delusion! If we think about carefully – who are we, to decide for someone else how they “should” be?
How would it be if we supported others to be the best they could possibly be, in that moment?
Of course I know that their best is not the same every day.
Neither is ours. We’re all doing the best we can, with what we have, in that moment. We can judge behaviour all we like, and it still remains true. If we could do better, we would. Maybe a day or a year later, we/they can do it differently.
I’ve heard it so often in the past few weeks from clients, AND from within myself:
“I wish he/she would stop xyz” or “I simply can’t forgive myself for xyz” – it’s unforgivable. ”
There are parts of us that behave or act in certain (undesirable) ways for extremely good reasons. One of the most beautiful things for me is when we can hear, understand and validate those parts that thought they were doing us a service. We easily judge (ourselves and others) on incomplete information.
May this mean something to you today. And may you find yourself in the company of kind, thoughtful companions who can support you to bring the best out of you.
May we also be kind and gentle when the “unbest” parts show up, in ourselves and others. They’re not really “unbest” – they’re doing something from a place we haven’t yet discovered.