I have had a few experiences recently that helped me see how precious, uncertain, and precarious our human lives are. I want to share some of them briefly today — perhaps they mean something to you, too, as you navigate this strange old journey on Mother Earth.
3 People, 3 Shocks
#1
I visited my mom in South Africa for 5 weeks over Christmas 2023. She’s had Parkinson’s Disease for almost 12 years. I must admit I was shocked at her decline in the past year. I won’t go into details here but I left South Africa with a very heavy heart. She’ll need a wheelchair very soon, and then a bed will be her home.
What makes Parkinson’s so hard, is there’s absolutely no prospect of getting any better, yet the disease lives on as long as the person does — and it can be many years.
#2
Then, a few weeks after I got back I had the news that another close family member also has a nasty and scary diagnosis resting on her shoulders. It took me a while to take it in and process it.
#3
Just about another week later, a very good, very dear friend and colleague in South Africa was taken to hospital in a life-threatening condition. When I originally wrote this article, he’d been in ICU for 10 days with a grim prognosis. The disease (Meningoencephalitis) has only a 30% chance of survival, and most of those who survive will live with debilitating limitations. It usually takes 6 months of rehab to bring them back to a minimally functional level. Many can never return to work due to those restrictions (like no concentration, seizures, loss of muscle control, confusion). Meningoencephalitis impacts the whole brain and nervous system.
It’s now almost 4 months since I originally wrote this. My friend was in hospital for 2 months, then spent another 2 months in a rehabilitation center. And he’s just moved into a Retirement Village where there is care and support for people whose brains have had an injury. We don’t know whether he’ll ever fully recover.
Get help
With big shocks like these, I highly recommend getting help! It’s very hard to work through and process them by ourselves. I started feeling pretty bleak about all the precious people in my life going through such dramatic changes, and did get invaluable support from mentors and practitioners to help me process.
Gosh, what a rosy article this is so far!? 🌹😆 Take a deep breath and stretch!
Why am I so cheerily appearing on your screen with all this?
Just a week before my friend got so ill, I had the beautiful blessing of talking with him for a whole hour. We had tried to get together the entire 5 weeks I was in South Africa, but it never worked out. We decided to postpone till I was back in the UK and found a day that worked late January.
The day of our chat, I desperately needed to go to the shops and almost asked him to postpone again. Thankfully I didn’t — and we got to spend that precious hour together.
I can only imagine how I would’ve felt now had I postponed. The regret and loss would have been huge.
The same with my 2 family members. Yes, it was hard to be with mom who had lost so many of the qualities I knew when she was younger and healthier… but at least I had that time with her over December.
Similar with my other family member. We spent wonderful time together, laughed, prayed, planned, strategised, sighed, cried… we did have that time and I’ll always be grateful.
Just a simple question for you today:
Who have you postponed calling, seeing or writing to? Is it perhaps time to pick up the phone and send that message?
I’ve really been incredibly aware in the past few weeks of the transient nature of life on earth. We don’t get to be here forever and neither do our loved ones. So many things can change in the matter of hours or days.
Make that call, write that email, send that card to people you care about. And thank you from my heart, for being in my community and reading my thoughts.
