Last time, I shared how choosing a simple “word of the day” supported me during my time with my mom. I want to share a few deeper insights today.

As the weeks went by during those six weeks, I started noticing something else.

The word I chose each morning wasn’t something I had to grip tightly or remember all the time. It was more like a little support I could come back to when I remembered. And surprisingly, sometimes it felt as if it was already there in my future, patiently waiting for me to arrive.

I started realising those weeks with my mom were not only about supporting her, but also about my own growth journey. And my ‘word’ often touched on the deeper layers of my own patterns.

Two examples of deeper support

One of the words I chose was:

Boundary.

By that point, I was feeling truly worn out. The kind of tiredness that seeps into everything. I sometimes did not even feel like going for my morning ‘Vitamin Sea’ because of the bone-tiredness. Yet I always did go, because my brain knew it was restorative.

I could feel how easily I was slipping back into doing too much, staying too long at my mom’s house (I stayed and slept in a friend of mom’s gorgeous flat), and putting my own needs aside without even realising it. All so familiar from previous trips.

That morning, sitting at the sea, I brought in a simple sentence to support me:

“My needs matter too. I need space, and that is allowed.”

It felt deeply relieving to consider those words as I jotted them down — the ‘allowed’ part especially.

That day, I allowed myself to enjoy a slower beach walk and then a leisurely breakfast at the beach-Wimpy. I arrived at mom’s an hour later than usual. As a result of listening to my needs, I had more patience for hers.

A little miracle

Then, in a surprising turn, mom shared with me she was worried about me… she thought I looked tired. (She is so perceptive, it’s hard to hide anything from her… I am guessing she is an HSP, too.)

Her concern miraculously opened up the possibility to say to her,

“I want to help you to relax about me. And therefore I promise to take very good care of myself. And that’s why, this afternoon, I’m going to the flat to have a rest.”

She accepted that with relief — she did not have to continue carrying my wellbeing on top of her own troubles.

So off I went to my bedroom for the afternoon, closing my ears and eyes to the world. Oh, the bliss of enjoying an afternoon in silence!

Because I took care of my own need for space, silence and breathing room, I had a bit more capacity to listen and be there for her later.

The next day, I completely forgot to choose a word. And how wonderful that my nervous system was still tuned into ‘boundary’ and permission … I was so chuffed when I found myself on the bed again for another restful afternoon nap.

How wonderful that the word that ‘chose me’ created the space for me to explain to mom I needed a rest. It felt like a miracle.

On top, not underneath

Another word I chose was:

Buoyancy.

It’s a word I hardly ever use, and it just felt right that day.

There were so many too-much moments. Challenges with carers who resigned while I was there, new ones starting, not finding their feet, more changes… I was dreading another roller coaster on this day. And this word gave me a way to stay with those moments without getting pulled under by them.

This comforting phrase came to mind: “I float through this moment.”

I didn’t need to make anything change. I imagined bobbing up and down on the waves and not sinking. And oh my gosh, I needed that often on a few different occasions!

Looking back

When I look back now, I can see that this practice became something grounding for me. Simple and imperfect, yet so valuable.

It was a way of staying connected to myself in the middle of everything. And it was supporting my progress with the deeper patterns I’ve been shifting for many years.

There was a little more space inside my experience. A little more kindness towards myself. A little less pressure to manage and control everything ‘perfectly’.

If you feel drawn to this, you might like to try it in your own way.

Here are a few ideas to get started:

A reflection

You might like to sit for a few minutes with one or two of these:

• What feels most present for me right now?
• Where am I stretching myself beyond what feels sustainable?
• What kind of support would feel kind today?

A journaling invitation

If you’d like to write, you could begin here:

• The word that feels supportive for me right now is…
• When I sit with this word, I notice…
• One small way I could allow this into my day is…

A few EFT phrases you could try

If you’d like to tap along, you could use something like this:

Side of the Hand: “Even though I’ve been carrying a lot, I’m open to finding a gentler way through today.”

And then move through the EFT points with phrases like:

• “All that I’ve been holding”
• “This tiredness / this pressure”
• “Letting there be a little more space”
• “Allowing some support”
• “Taking this one moment at a time”
• Make this your own, just say what comes to mind. Tell the honest truth, just as it is. And tapping in complete silence is fine, too.

If you want a few minutes of guided tapping with me, I offer free tracks on InsightTimer and on Youtube.

I truly feel we all need much more gentleness as we’re navigating a very fast-changing world. May there be a way in which you can offer yourself kindness, so that it can spill over to others.