“I can do everything myself!”
Do it all myself or expert help

Liesel Teversham

Liesel helps HSP introverts to embrace their sensitivity as a superpower, and overcome obstacles so they can thrive. She also works with clients to solve their health issues, and has authored 2 books. More here.

Published on 2016/04/10

ExpertHelpWhen last did you struggle with something for weeks or months? Anything.  A body part not working well, a goal that didn’t work out,  stagnation in your career or business, a weight loss plan you didn’t follow, an exercise plan you didn’t stick with or any other thing that you just couldn’t solve by yourself……

How do you handle those situations? Do you keep struggling and eventually give up? Or do you struggle along for years, not happy but not giving up? And start blaming or judging yourself because you’re not able to make progress? (“I SHOULD be able to do this – what’s wrong with me?”)

Or – do you ask for help from an expert who can point to the origin and help you sort it out?

Recently I had a colourful example of this kind of struggle in my own life.

I’d been experiencing all sorts of muscle aches and spasms in many places for the past few months. My neck, back, shoulders, rhomboids were all in agony at different times – in a rotating, traveling kind of way. One of my gluteus muscles also went into spasm often over the last couple of weeks and my lower back felt out of whack.
I LOVE walking and this was impeding on my capacity to go for walks. I started feeling a little worried and down about all the aches and pains. Gosh – was I getting ‘old’??

I was still exercising as best I could. Before, I had been going to a biokineticist for about 3.5 years, and my last session was in November last year. I’d not been back this year and honestly thought I had my exercise under control.
Finally, about 2 weeks ago I just HAD it with these revolving pains! I went for a sports massage at a biokineticist. It gave me a lot of relief – and to my utter annoyance, a week later it was back to square one.

Yes, in case you’re wondering, I went looking for underlying emotional issues. And you know, sometimes, I think we can go overboard with looking for emotional patterns where the truth might be that I have a terrible posture when I sit at my laptop for 6 hours a day. No amount of energy work is going to fix a body that’s being used in the wrong way all day long.

During the massage, the helpful bio explained a whole bunch of things about the muscles and how they work together. I suddenly had clarity that I’d need to see an expert to help me find what to correct.

Ouch – the truth!

Yay!! I had my first biokinetics session this past Friday. And BOY – am I glad I went!! We started off with an Assessment first, to look at strength and suppleness in various areas. Eeek – was I shocked!! When I stopped the bio sessions 4 months ago, I was strong and supple. Now, there were exercises I battled with and oooooh, I KNEW I was going to be stiff in a few places the next couple of days…

You know, I just LOVE it when someone can tell me in 10 minutes what I’ll need to work on, in order to put things right.  This guy was amazing. He connected all the dots for me and gave me tons of insight into what’s been causing all the aches and spasms. The picture was suddenly clear and yes, I’m going to need to change my posture, the way I walk and sit, and do some core-strengthening exercises every single day. I also have ‘bad’ hips that don’t fit into their sockets too well and my ligaments are lax. Therefore my core muscles need to be super strong to support my spine and structure.

I went home with hope, trust in this guy, faith that my body can be a source of ease and joy again, and a plan of action. And – I know that it’s not an overnight journey. I can’t go to this guy once or twice and expect to be free of a problem that’s been building for years. It’s going to take work and commitment on my side. Sometimes I might feel despondent and want to give up – and that’s part of the reason I’m paying him. To help keep me on track, motivated and seeing the progress I’m making. He can see in my blind spot.

What did I learn from this experience?

I don’t know where I learned to say this but my Mom says that from a very early age (age 3 or so), I started saying to her “I’ll do it myself!” And yes, it’s great to be independent and to attempt to solve problems myself.

And yet. Sometimes it causes me unnecessary suffering. For months.

The truth is that I’m not an expert in every area. I can solve many problems because I have underlying background knowledge in those areas. I definitely am NOT an expert in anatomy, physiology and how the body works like a team… in this area, attempting to solve my own problem is silly.

I was certainly not keen to ask family members or friends for advice on what to do to solve my back issues. I love them – AND they are also not experts. Their guess would be as good as mine.

My Question for you Today

What’s that one area in your life that you’re having a hard time with right now? Work? Relationships? Friendships? Money? Body? Weight? Conflict with someone? Lack of energy and motivation?

Life is complex. There are so many layers to our challenges. And none of us can be an expert in every single area. It’s not realistic, and we weren’t meant to be that.

I’d like to encourage you today to seek out the guidance of an expert in the area of your challenge. If it’s been going on for longer than a couple of months, please get support. It’s courageous to ask for help. An expert can locate the origin of an issue in anything from a couple of minutes to an hour – where we’ve been struggling for months or even years to sort it out.

I’m not an expert in everything! I know that and actually feel pretty grateful for that.

I love getting a proper haircut from someone who knows how to do it well. I love learning from experts in their field on Udemy. I love going to a homeopath for help with health challenges. And I LOOOOVE my new bio who’s going to help me get my physical body back in balance. Oh yes – and I love the people I go to for coaching, mentoring and support with emotional challenges. All of them can help me far, far quicker than if I tried to “do it myself” as my 4-year old me loved to exclaim.

Claim your Free 20 Minute Blindspot Session!

Where is your struggle? I’d love you to reach out to me if there’s something you’re having a hard time with. I have a large global network and I might be able to point you in the right direction. Perhaps there’s something I can support you with. My areas of expertise are to transform career and introvert challenges, self-care, finding and using your awesome talents and strengths, and personal growth in steady, consistent steps.

For the next 2 weeks, I’m offering 10 free 20-minute Find-your-Blindspot sessions. We’ll hop on Skype and find your next step so you can make progress in a direction that’s going to be closer to the outcome you want!

Reach out here on the Contact Page and say you’d like a Find-Your-Blindspot session. We’ll get you set up as soon as possible.

Whether you want such a session or not – I’d love to hear from you.

Do you also have thoughts like “I have to do it all myself” – or do you easily reach out for support? What did you learn as a child – that it’s okay to not do it all, or that you need to be perfect in everything?


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