Written by Christopher Nevill.
This short story is not original to me and what I have done is fiddled with it a bit to illustrate a point about our relationships. Look carefully at your relationship. Are you drinking the chocolate the other person has to offer or are you complaining about the way in which they present what they have to offer – the cup!?
A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives and how too often their relationships were not fulfilling. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups – porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.
When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: “Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. This is what we do all too often. The cup that you’re drinking from adds NOTHING to the quality of the hot chocolate. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups. And then you began eyeing each other’s cups.”
Now consider this: What Life and what your relationship offer you is the hot chocolate. Your partner can only offer you the cup that they have and it may not be the cup that you feel you either need or deserve. However, unless you create it so, the cup your partner presents does not define, nor change the quality of the chocolate they have to offer. By focusing our attention on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate. Decide. Which is more important the chocolate or the cup?
The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything that they have.
Christopher Neville is the Founder of Foundation. His work is internationally respected and honoured. He consults to organisations both large and small here in South Africa as well as Europe. He has a reputation for approaching matters that concern us all both personal and business, from a different angle. His methods are effective and produce swift, often startling results. To see more about Christopher’s philosophy and work, visit www.christophernevill.net or www.foundationsa.co.za.
Christopher’s book “How to Manage Anger” is available on Amazon.
Liesel helps sensitive introverts to see their sensitivity as a superpower, love their work and practice awesome self-care so they can be energized and make a difference in a meaningful and fulfilling way. She helps them to overcome the fear of being visible, avoiding the spotlight and conflict, being ‘too nice’, perfectionism and procrastination.
She’s the author of “No Problem. The Upside of Saying No”, which is a handbook for those who struggle to say no, are overwhelmed and exhausted.
Click here to read about the book.